It is tough being a woman:
1. In another woman's shadow
2. In a world where beauty is a treatment
3. In a mean world
4. Thrown a giant-sized weight
5. In the tight fist of fear
6. Who can balance passion with patience
7. Who feels responsible for the how.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Christmas Cookie Rules
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
3. If a friend comes over while you are making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calorie free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
7. Cookies eaten while watching " Miracle on 34th St. have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
9. Any cookie consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his or her pate. We all know how calories lke to cling!
10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes never have calories. It's a rule!
So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies. We only get them this time of year!
This is from my friend Rhonda Hobby
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
3. If a friend comes over while you are making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calorie free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
7. Cookies eaten while watching " Miracle on 34th St. have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
9. Any cookie consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his or her pate. We all know how calories lke to cling!
10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes never have calories. It's a rule!
So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies. We only get them this time of year!
This is from my friend Rhonda Hobby
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Twelve Days of Christmas
From 1558 until 1829 Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. So someone wrote this song. It has two meaning. a surface meaning and a hidden meaning.
The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
Two turtle doves were in the Old and New Testaments.
Three french hens stood for faith, hope and love.
The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
The five golden rings recalled the Toorah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
The six geese a laying stood for the six days of creation.
Seven swans a swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit-- Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership and Mercy.
The eight maids a milking were the eight beatitudes.
Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the holy Spirit-- Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, kindness, Goodness, Gentleness and Self- control.
The ten lords a -leaping were the the Ten Commandments.
The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles Creed.
The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
Two turtle doves were in the Old and New Testaments.
Three french hens stood for faith, hope and love.
The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
The five golden rings recalled the Toorah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
The six geese a laying stood for the six days of creation.
Seven swans a swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit-- Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership and Mercy.
The eight maids a milking were the eight beatitudes.
Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the holy Spirit-- Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, kindness, Goodness, Gentleness and Self- control.
The ten lords a -leaping were the the Ten Commandments.
The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles Creed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)